Dealing with the Sunday night dread
“Culture is how employees’ hearts and stomachs feel about Monday morning on Sunday night” - Bill Marklein of Employ Humanity.
I must admit this quote makes my heart and stomach flutter. Why? Because in my experience, it is incredibly true.
I have a 30-year career in education, and I am thankful that for the vast majority of those years, Sunday night was not a dreaded moment. It is fair to say I even looked forward to Monday for many of those years. When I reflect on why, the answer is clear: I felt valued by my employer, I believed I made a difference in my setting, and the work brought satisfaction and joy.
There were a few seasons, though, where Sunday nights were dreaded. There is certainly a pattern in the reasons, even though the contexts were quite different. I dreaded work when conflict reigned in the organizational climate, when I did not feel valued by my employer, and when the work expectations became unmanageable. In many ways, I still felt as though I was making a difference, and I enjoyed much of the work (even though there was too much of it), but when weighed against the negative aspects of the culture, it was no longer worth it.
During a particularly tough season, I remember taking a 10-day “staycation,” where I rested at home and tried to recover from the craziness of work. It took at least five days to unwind, and when the last night arrived, I felt the weight of anxiety and stress return; my stomach literally became queasy. Quite honestly, I was surprised. I really thought the time away would provide the re-energizing effect I needed to bring joy back to my work. When that did not happen, I knew something had to change, whether at my workplace or in my life. Within a few weeks, a change happened.
How do we respond to a pattern of dreading Sunday nights?
From the employee perspective, I offer this opinion - continuously dreading work is not sustainable nor healthy. No matter how much you love the place and the people, enduring the dread for the long term is tough.
The decision to leave a place of employment, especially a beloved one, can be extremely difficult, and I will not presume to know what is best for others in this situation. I encourage you to make sure your supervisor knows about your angst. Leaders can only change what they know about. Consider telling them.
It is also possible that an employee is simply in the wrong position in the wrong organization. In other words, it is not a culture problem; it is a fit problem. Nothing unusual about that! Finding the right fit is important for a satisfying and enjoyable work experience.
Beyond that, I simply offer these thoughts: share with those closest to you, carefully assess the impact of the role on your health, and make decisions with your loved ones that are consistent with your values and beliefs. You may be able to outlast a terrible leader – or you may not. Your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health matter.
The employer's perspective deserves some attention, as this is where the leadership lessons lie. Some questions come to mind:
Are leaders aware of the Sunday night dread being experienced by some of their employees?
Do those leaders experience it themselves?
To what do they attribute the cause of such dread?
Have they analyzed their own culture with objectivity and openness?
Is there a pattern of dread within a unit or organization?
I do not know how many leaders are aware of “Sunday night dread” in their department or organization. If they are unaware, it is hard to do anything about it. Arguably, they should be aware; if they are growing in their own emotional intelligence, observing and listening to their employees, and actively working to create a positive culture, then there should be some indication of a pattern of dread. And if a leader has those traits, then certainly the leader is desiring change; the status quo is simply unacceptable to that leader.
The real problem arises when a leader is aware, but nothing changes. In some cases, the leader believes the issue is in the mind of the employee and does not reflect reality. In other cases, the leader believes there are “employee fit” issues all across the organization. It is certainly possible the leader simply does not care.
In each of these cases, though, the vibe from this leader often boils down to this: it is the employee’s problem. If you do not enjoy working here, then feel free to leave. It is hard for me to imagine a leader saying this, but it happens. I am guessing most readers at this point have a circumstance in mind – either a personal one, a story from a friend or loved one, or a case study in the news - that fits this situation. It is also hard for me to imagine this leader lasting very long within the organization, but stranger things have happened.
This is why continuous leadership development is so important. Leaders cannot be complacent. A happy place to work yesterday is not guaranteed to be a happy place tomorrow. Stay on top of your organizational culture by gathering feedback, utilizing assessments, and being engaged in it. Do not underestimate the impact of culture. ABL Wise Consulting would love to help you assess your organization's culture. Reach out today.
pc: Piret Ilver via Unsplash
