“It’s a loser’s mentality to blame the officials” - or is it?
Over the past few months, I have become a fan of the podcast, New Heights, with brothers Jason and Travis Kelce. Honestly, I am a reader, but I am not a big podcast person; however, due to recommendations from others and extended time in my car, I started listening.
A little background on this podcast: first, brothers are both veteran NFL players who have each spent their careers with a single team (Jason with the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis with the Kansas City Chiefs). They were both drafted by the same coach, Andy Reid, but years apart on two different teams. They are knowledgeable, entertaining, transparent, a little salty, and very funny.
One day, they discussed the impact of referees on the game. This discussion was spurred by a Philadelphia Eagles’ loss to the Washington Commanders where the referees missed a facemask penalty that would have overturned a key fumble. As one would expect, Eagles fans were upset. Jason Kelce, a member of the Eagles, was asked about this by his brother, Travis.
Jason responded by saying, “We had so many opportunities to win that football game, and we didn’t take care of it...The reality is, you have to go out there and play the game as called...It’s a loser’s mentality to put it on the officials.”
Travis expressed his agreement and shared a story from early in his career when he was a “sore loser” and blamed the ref for a missed call. I was a little surprised by the vehemence of their responses, particularly as someone who has done her share of complaining about officials. (Note: This podcast is not rated G. Expect some foul or colorful language.)
I have thought about this many times since listening back in November, and I have pondered the leadership lessons reflected in these statements. Let’s look at the three sentiments expressed.
“We had so many opportunities to win that football game, and we didn’t take care of it.” Keep in mind this statement was made in the context of whether a referee should take responsibility for a loss. The response of the player was to essentially say, “no, we weren’t perfect either, so we are responsible. Our actions led to the outcome.” This reminds me of the concept of locus of control.
Locus of control “refers to the degree to which an individual feels a sense of agency in regard to his or her life. Someone with an internal locus of control will believe that the things that happen to them are greatly influenced by their own abilities, actions, or mistakes. A person with an external locus of control will tend to feel that other forces—such as random chance, environmental factors, or the actions of others—are more responsible for the events that occur in the individual's life.”
While locus of control is a personality construct, it is also a trait that can be developed. Research suggests a strong sense of internal locus of control is associated with greater happiness, increased sense of satisfaction, and higher levels of success. While there is no “right” type or amount of locus of control, we can learn from associated benefits and be willing to reflect on our own actions and responsibilities.
There is a leadership lesson in this. The people around you will not be perfect. They may make decisions and mistakes that impact you and your organization. I am not suggesting you ignore those, but I am encouraging leaders to reflect on how their own actions contributed to the situation – or how their inactions may have changed or avoided it.
“The reality is, you have to go out there and play the game as called.” I am highly skilled at replaying, overanalyzing, and (at times) obsessing about how a situation could have been avoided or improved. While there is a benefit to self-reflection and conducting a “post mortem” when a problem occurs, leaders also must realize they cannot change what has already happened. At some point, leaders must accept the reality of the situation and move forward with as much wisdom, vision, positivity, and strategy as possible.
“It’s a loser’s mentality to put it on the officials.” What is the leadership lesson here? Leaders take responsibility. I really cannot say it enough: when good things happen, good leaders credit their team; when bad things happen, good leaders take responsibility.
I learned this lesson early in life when I heard testimonies from a few of the employees who worked under my dad. Their story was consistent: when they made a mistake, my dad talked to them about it in private. After that conversation, they had a clear understanding of where they went wrong and how they needed to correct their actions in the future. Yet each one also said that my dad never left the room and undermined them. He defended them and “took one on the chin” from his own supervisor. Now if the problem reoccurred...that was another story. But guess what? The problem rarely reoccurred because of the respect (and even gratitude) my dad had earned through the conflict. People loved working for him and wanted to earn his respect by not making the same mistake twice. That is leadership.
While the context of a football field is different than the board room, classroom, or office suite, the lessons are transferrable.
As leaders, let’s focus on what we can control. Let’s be willing to examine our own actions honestly, as well as be willing to accept reality and move on as successfully as we can. And let’s be willing to take responsibility for the failures rather than “put it on” our team members.
Leadership can be developed. If you are ready to take the next step in your leadership development, contact ABL Wise Consulting. I would love to join you on that journey.
pc: Damian Lynch via Unsplash
