Good leaders seek wise counselors
Over 25 years ago, I went with some friends to the filming of the gameshow, The Price is Right. I loved watching this show during the summer when I was a kid, and I love gameshows in general. Although I really wanted to be a contestant, my name was never called, but I embraced the role of an enthusiastic and supportive audience member.
At this time, you had to show up very early in the morning to have a chance of making it into the theater, and as a result, prospective audience members waited a long time in line and had a chance to get to know one another. We met a very friendly guy, Jason, who was incredibly energetic and helped to connect some of the people in line. We were not surprised when Jason was the first audience member selected to “come on down,” and he won the first bidding contest and made it onstage. Ultimately, Jason progressed all the way to the Showcase Showdown. When it was time for him to bid, he scanned the audience, and we dutifully raised our hands and voices to offer bidding suggestions. Jason looked right at us, then looks at Bob Barker, and he bid the amount we offered.
I got immediately nervous. That’s our bid! I was not highly knowledgeable of the items in the showcase and their potential cost. What if our bid causes him to lose?
Any guesses as to what happened?
Jason lost the showcase. His bid (aka, my bid!) was too far off, and the other person won the showcase. (Please note Jason won a car in his game, so at least he had that! Nonetheless, I still quickly exited the theater.)
In the organizational context, sometimes the sharing of advice looks similar to The Price is Right. In the midst of a pressure situation, someone needs direction, and that direction is provided with little context or conversation. Who knows who will be blamed or credited for the outcome.
In “The Art of Giving and Receiving Advice,” the conditions and skills for a successful interaction are opposite of the gameshow example. According to Garvin and Margolis, “The whole interaction is a subtle and intricate art. On both sides it requires emotional intelligence, self-awareness, restraint, diplomacy, and patience.” The authors describe four types of advice (discrete advice, counsel, coaching, and mentoring), the activities associated with each type, and the desired outcomes. They also describe the most common obstacles to advice giving and receiving, including: choosing the wrong advisers, defining the problem poorly, thinking you already have the answers, and misdiagnosing the problem.
In our professional lives, let’s not make gameshow-type mistakes. Instead, let’s endeavor to:
Create a list of possible advisors.
When possible, be proactive and seek advice ahead of the crisis or deadline.
Choose advisors who have a wide range of knowledge and expertise, are good listeners, and are honest and humble.
Be humble and willing to admit to your own limitations. Resist acting as though you have all the answers.
Pursue skills within the sphere of emotional intelligence.
Communicate and then communicate some more.
Ancient wisdom supports the need for receiving good advice. Proverbs 15:22 states, “Refuse advice and watch your plans fail; take good counsel and watch them succeed” (The Message).
Every leader has “come on down” moments where you are “in the game” and have to be ready to respond. As you consider the types of advice you need to succeed, it can be beneficial to have a trusted advisor who is outside of your context. Consider reaching out to ABL Wise Consulting for counsel or coaching.
Source: The Art of Giving and Receiving Advice by Garvin and Margolis
